Tuesday, September 21, 2010

"Are They Twins?"

So by now I am used to the numerous stares I get when I am out in public with my two kiddos... most of the time the stares are harmless, but sometimes random strangers take it upon themselves to ask me inappropriate personal questions about whether or not my daughter is my "real" daughter, etc.  I know all of you other adoptive parents who have children of another race know what I'm talking about! :) 

For those who don't know... it is one thing to talk about your family and your adoption with people who are invested in your life as friends, or who are honestly trying to find out more information about adoption because they are considering adopting themselves.  It's a whole different story to fend off questions from complete strangers who insert themselves into your lives in public places and seem to think it's appropriate to ask you very personal questions.  I find myself often "on guard" in these situations because I know my primary responsibility is to guard my children and show them appropriate responses to "inquisitve" questions from strangers.  Sometimes people mean well, but the fact of the matter is that if we don't know them (or why they are asking) then we typically don't share much.  I also want to protect my daughter and her story... it's not the business of the lady at the library to know what happened to her parents and whether I love her as much as I love my son (yep, just a sample of questions people actually ask IN FRONT OF my kids).  I could write a whole post on this, but I think I will save that for another time...

Today, I have a lighter, more humerous story to share!

I was at Target this morning with my kids and noticed that the cashier was "studying" us, and I was prepared for the typical round of questions.  But this time, the conversation went a little different....

Cashier: You have beautiful children!
Me: Thank you!
Cashier: How old are they?
Me: They are both four.
Cashier: (continues thoughtfully studying them) Oh, are they twins?
Me: (stunned silence) Um.... no.... they are not twins.  But they sure act like it sometimes :)
Cashier: (smiles)

And with that, we left the store!  True story!  I have no idea what she was really thinking but I just smiled all the way to the car and knew this deserved to be recorded in a blog post :)

"Twins"... can't you see it?!?


  1. Seriously, Bethany...I can just imagine the look on your face after she asked you...it's one of the things I love best about you! Your facial expressions!

  2. Hi Bethany, I ran across your blog from the Ethiopian adoption blog website. My husband and I are fellow Holt parents currently in the process! ( just finished our home study)
    I read this post and it was so completely in tune of what Im feeling at the moment. I think about this happening all the time and although Im not worried so much of the questions but more my reactions in front of my child. I so hope I do and say the right thing as opposed to what I secretly would like to do ( kick & scream..haha!)So any advice you got, please send my way!
    And the story of "twins" is hilarious! Some people:)
    Sara Lyons

  3. I get that too- the girls are 20 month apart (but because one is a peanut they are the same size) People look at them and you can tell they want to ask if they are twins but at the same time realize how stupid the question is (one is Ethiopian, the other is Chinese) so they either ask how old they are or if they are sisters.

  4. That is hilarious! Love this story...

  5. I know all about the confused looks people give. We got them growing up with my little brother. But twins???? That's just hilarious!!!

  6. Hey Bethany... you have a beautiful family. Ryan and I are going through the adoption process right now. We considered international adoption but God has led us through the foster/adopt program. We are looking to adopt a school age daughter. Our final home study is Thursday....people often ask if my two sons are twins (2 yrs apart) but they do resemble each other a tad more than your two little ones.

  7. Same thing happened to us...no kidding! My kids are 1yr apart. Daughter from ET, son bio, and we were walking down Michigan Ave on a hot summer day with our double stroller. A man approached me and told me my kids are beautiful...I thanked him and he proceed to ask me if they are twins. I thought he was being sarcastic...so I chuckled, but then realized his face was stone cold waiting for a response to his question (the guy was serious!). I said no, and in fact my son is 1 yr old than my daughter. I walked away from that conversation in utter amazement...that was one question I never expected to get!!!

  8. Hi! I love your blog! We are beginning the process of adopting through Holt! Yay!


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